


The Day Rhett Lost Everything

by RazleDazle



Series: The Day They Lost Everything [1]
Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Blood, Car Accidents, Depression, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Extremely Dubious Consent, Graphic Description, M/M, Minor Character Death, Original Character Death(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sex, Therapy, Violence, description of death, rhink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-27 15:18:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8406790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RazleDazle/pseuds/RazleDazle
Summary: The day Rhett lost everything ended in death, blood and violence.   Rhett blames himself and spirals out of control, destroying everything in his life that mattered.  Now Rhett is alone: no GMM, no fans, no children, no wife, not even Link by his side.
How did this happen? 
Will Rhett ever be whole again?





	1. A Friendship Destroyed

**Author's Note:**

> I love you. I wish I could take that pain away, but I can’t let you bring me down with you. You ruined us. You ruined what we spent our lives building. I don’t understand why and I don’t understand how you could hurt me like this, but you did. And as much as it pains me, brother, I want you out. There is no team anymore, no us.

> _           hey rhett, ur late. where r u? _
> 
> _           r u still going 2 b here 2 help set up? _
> 
> _          where the hell r u, man?  _
> 
> _          the livestream starts in 5 min. R u on ur way?   _
> 
> _          Startin w/o u, get here now! _
> 
> _          if u need to contact me, text Stevie. i’m live now.  _

  
  


Link had texted Rhett twenty different times with no response. They had scheduled a livestream for the Mythical Beasts that had bought a YouTube Red subscription and were going to watch Buddy System episode 4.  Link was excited because this episode featured a skating verse rollerblading gang brawl. Molly Shannon was in it and he had lots of fun filming these scenes with her.  He just knew the Mythical Beasts were going to flip out when they saw the “brawl” between he and Rhett.  

 

But Rhett was nowhere to be found and was not answering his texts.  Link couldn’t just cancel the livestream at such short notice and he didn’t want to.  He owed it to the fans in a way of thanking them for their loyalty.  The show would go on with or without Rhett. The mythical beasts would understand.  They had a basic understanding of Rhett’s situation and what has been going on in his life as of late.  They all had given their sympathy and sent their love through messages, mail and fan art.  He knew they were bound to get some haters, but that would be true with or without Rhett.  

 

“Ok, Stevie. We’re going to do this without Rhett.  If he shows up later, great. If not, we’ll figure it out. Just keep trying his phone. I’m ready.” Link stated with a smile. 

 

“Good Mythical Evening Livestream.  Rhett’s not here and Buddy System episode 4 is out. Let’s talk about that!”  Link winked into the camera.  “Hey, mythical beasts of all time zones, I’m glad you could come out for this livestream.  As you can see, it’s just me.  Rhett had an emergency and might be around later.  But we’ll have tons of fun in his absence and maybe we’ll let him in on some inside jokes if he’s good.”  Link waggled his eyebrows up and down and gave a sweet laugh.  

 

“Now I haven’t done a show on my own since the Kast days.  So, am I supposed to ask a question and then answer it myself or maybe I can say all my lines as the episode is playing. Hmm.  Maybe just let you guys in on some inside secrets.  I guess I will figure it out.  But for now, let’s delve into episode 4 of Buddy System! This episode is jam packed and Rhett and I are so excited to share this with you. Ok, press your play button is 10, 9 ,8. . . “ 

 

Just then the door to their office slammed open shaking the whole room.  Link’s face lit up as he saw Rhett walk in and then it fell when he could smell Rhett before he saw his whole body stagger into the room.  

 

“Oh, looks like I'ma jus' in time.” Rhett hiccuped as he bumped into the camera almost sending it to the floor.  

 

“Rhett, this is live.  Maybe you should go to hair and makeup before you come in front of the camera.” Link was trying to give his drunk friend a hint that he should go somewhere and sober up and not unleash his drunken madness on thousands of beasts watching live.  

 

“Nonsense. I look and feel great.”  Rhett said as he plopped in front of the camera. “Um . . ok. Mythical Beasts. 7, 6, 5 . . .” Link counted down.  He knew better than to argue with a drunken Rhett, while thousands watched. It was only a twelve minute episode. They could get through it and then site technology issues and finish the stream at a later date. 

 

“You know what. I don’t quite like how you are looking at me.” Rhett hollered, swaying back and forth on the bench that he shared with Link.  “A grown man can’t have a drink or two?  What is your problem, man?” Rhett belched.  

 

“Stevie, cut the stream.” 

 

“No, Stevie, don’t cut the stream. If the damned mythical beasts and you have a problem with me, you all can suck my dick. Fuck you and fuck them.” As the words tumbled out of his mouth, he grabbed himself and squeezed illustrating his point.  Shock froze everyone in the room.  Was this a ill humored joke, was Rhett going mad or was this a dream?  

 

“STEVIE, cut the gosh darn stream.” Link yelled.  Snapping back to reality, the crew disabled the stream and shut the camera off, but the damage had been done.  Rhett had just insulted thousands of fans. This video would be shared among the beasts and their reputation would be ruined. They were bound to lose a huge chunk of their fan base.  It would be a huge blow to their business. 

 

“Guys, we need the room.” Link commanded. Everyone’s eyes were glued on Rhett and the mockery he just made of their livelihoods. Link looked at everyone and saw them not moving. “NOW! Get out, guys!” he bellowed. They scampered out of the room, worried and confused. 

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you, man? Are you serious right now? You just grabbed your nuts and told our audience to suck you off.  Do you know how many kids and families were watching this, that will never watch again? You’ve ruined us!”  Link screamed in Rhett’s face, anger swelling in his chest.  He had never yelled this loud or been this furious before at Rhett.  They had always had their creative differences and temper tantrums.  But never like this.  Link didn’t know how they were going to come back from this. He didn’t know if he really wanted to.  Rhett had simultaneously killed his own career and dragged Link down, drowning them both.  

 

Link stood, shoulders tense, fists shaking.  “Do you have anything to fucking say, Rhett?”  Just then, Rhett punched him.  This was not a playful punch of their youth. This was not even the slap from the episode where they shaved Rhett’s beard, that caused an hour long argument.  This was full force, whole body behind it punch.  There was hate and anger and pain behind this punch. This was years of pent up frustration and self control, when a punch was really warranted but never delivered. It rocked through Link’s jaw, sending his head flying to the side and his body smashing into the floor. Blood trickled out of his nose and his lip already showed signs of swelling.  

 

Shock was all over Link’s face as he stood up, massaging his chin and opening and closing his mouth. He ran his tongue over his teeth and concluded that they were still intact.  The shock was short lived, as that punch lit a fuse in Link. In a running tackle, Link threw himself at Rhett, sending both men crashing through the small coffee table.   

 

Surprise and alcohol got the better of Rhett, as Link straddled him and proceeded to punch Rhett three times before the crew pulled Link off of him.  “Let me go! Let me go!’ Link growled and thrashed at the hands that were on him.  

 

“Link, Link.” Stevie whispered and touched his face trying to make eye contact. “Link. Stop. You’re hurt.”  Tears welled up in Link’s eyes as he bled all over himself and Stevie’s hands. 

 

Link took a deep breath and the strength left his body.   “I’m fine, guys. Really, let me go.” Alex, Drew and Chase looked at each other and released him.  Link wiped under his nose catching snot and blood and wiped it on his pants leg, as he glowered at Rhett still on the floor.  

 

“You and me, we were blood brothers, man. We were family.  You were my person.  Now I don’t know who the hell you are, but you’re not the Rhett that I have known for over thirty years.   You are a shell of a human being.  I know you have gone through things, terrible things that would send any man crashing to his knees.  I love you. I wish I could take that pain away, but I can’t let you bring me down with you. You ruined us. You ruined what we spent our lives building.  I don’t understand why and I don’t understand how you could hurt me like this, but you did.  And as much as it pains me, brother, I want you out.  There is no team anymore, no us.  Get your stuff and get out of my office. I will send you the money for half the business and the paperwork to sign.  You  _ will _ sign it. Then, we are through.”  

  
Tears streamed down Link’s face as he said the final words. “Guys, can someone help him gather his fucking stuff and get him the fuck off Mythical Entertainment property.  If he struggles or looks at any of you sideways, call the damn cops.”  With that, Link stalked out of the room and headed toward the prop closet.  There, in the darkened room, he slid to the floor and quietly wept over what he had lost.


	2. Aftershocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three things happen:
> 
> Everything continues to fall apart  
> Rhett and Link deal with their pain separately  
> There is an ending. 
> 
> Can Rhett survive this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Rhett's] mind kept giving him flashes of their faces, horrifying glimpses of suffering and regret. Even happy memories could not soothe him because they would turn sour and strange, taking on a bloody hue that he could not understand.

Link’s shoulders sagged as his tears dried up, but his body didn’t get the message as he continued to shake and gasp.  How had it gotten this far? Why had Link let Rhett get this bad?  Rhett was floating in this life, bouncing from object to object, and Link should have anchored him down. Should have done more, been stronger for the both of them.  Should have wrapped Rhett up in a blanket of love and warmth and absorbed all his pain unto himself.  

 

The truth was, there wasn’t much Link could have done. Rhett lost his world and Link was a sorry placeholder for it.  He couldn’t replicate or fix all that had been taken away from the blonde man. Link did the best he could to help, but Rhett wouldn’t be helped.   

 

The drinking was not new news. It wasn’t even new that he showed up to work drunk. It became the new norm to tape shows after Link knew he had being out drinking all morning or all night. Link tried to convince himself that Rhett just needed time. He was healing and soon this would be a forgotten bad memory in a sea of other memories. Link had been so wrong.  

 

What _ was _ new was that he became an uncontrolled, bumbling, moronic mess in front of the crew and fans. That was unforgivable. Threatening their business and their livelihood, the thing they had put their heart and souls into for years. Link couldn’t just let it go. 

 

But the look on Rhett’s face as he told him that he wanted him gone from his life. That look will be forever etched on Link’s brain. The look of pure horror, like a man with nothing left.   _ I was all he had, until I left him. _

 

Link curled tighter into himself, holding on. He felt like he was going to turn inside out and vomit all over the prop room floor.  He wasn’t sure he could do this. They had been inseparable all their lives. There wasn’t a memory Link had that wasn’t attached to this man. How was he supposed to untangle his thirty years from that of Rhett’s? How was he to navigate this world without his friend? Link didn’t know and was afraid. 

 

As he looked around the prop room, trying to calm his trembling body, he took in all the things Rhett had touched.  His fingerprints were on everything that Link glimpsed. The zebra suit that turned one of their videos viral and showed up in an LMFAO video, purple shorts that showed up in Chicken Noodle Soup Bath and countless others, puppets that were made by a fan in the early days of GMM, their old Rhett and Link logo sign. 

 

Suddenly, Link saw red. This wasn’t Link’s decision. Rhett had made his choice. How many broken pieces of equipment had been smashed in fits of hysteria, episodes ruined because Rhett couldn’t form coherent sentences, feelings hurt and messes that Link had to clean up alone?  How far did he really think he could push Link, how much heartache could the shorter man bear before it would become too much? Link lost his mind, as he howled like an animal, ripping things off shelves and sending things flying in all directions. 

 

“Mike! Alex! Jen! Get in here!” Link bellowed. 

 

“Yeah, boss,” Jen called meekly from the door a moment later, not entering the room.

 

“Get some people in here. I want all of Rhett’s stuff packed up and out of here by yesterday! Anything, everything that was even remotely his, gone!” 

 

Link stalked out of the room and out of the building.  He wandered the streets of Burbank aimlessly focusing on building a wall around his bleeding heart. He didn’t want to feel anymore, didn’t want to think anymore of Rhett.  He forced himself to forget   He walked until his feet were sore and his body cried out, but still he continued on his determined path to erase every memory, even the happy ones. He trudged on until the sun went down and Link was shrouded in complete darkness.   

 

\----------------------------------------------

Rhett blinked several times, unbelieving what had just occurred. Still lying in the broken splintery mess of their once fully functional coffee table, Rhett was dumbfounded. In his drunken stupor he could still feel the warmth in his hand from where he hit Link. His face was tender and swollen from where Link hit him back.  His knuckles were cracked and caked with blood. His blood or Link’s? Rhett wasn’t sure. The encounter was fresh in his mind, but still felt unreal, like it had happened in a dream.  How did he let it get so bad? When did he lose control? 

 

“Rhett, you need to get up.” Stevie leaned down and touched Rhett’s arm. “Rhett, Chase is going to help you up and walk you out. Can I trust you to be good?” Stevie shook his arm. “Rhett, can I trust you?” 

 

“Yeah, yeah.” This was it.  _ If that is how Link wants it, then that’s fine.  _ Rhett thought without bitterness or anger, just emptiness.  Rising to his feet, Rhett glanced around his office,  _ Link’s office _ , said goodbye to a lifetime of moments. The end of something wonderful, the years he spent with Link, broken and buried.   _ That’s familiar, _ Rhett thought bitterly.  

  
  


_ I thought I lost everything. I was wrong. So wrong. _ Rhett not only lost his family, but had thrown his friendship away with both hands. His anchor to this world had been cut and now he was floating away unknowing where his body would end up.  

 

The ache in Rhett’s chest scarred over and left a hollow hole. Rhett’s body continued breathing while simultaneously his heart turned cold and died.  _ But the fucking thing kept beating. Why did it have to keep beating?  _ Rhett screamed internally.  

 

He shuffled out of the office and down the hall, head hanging in defeat.  Out through the doors of Mythical Entertainment, the sun was still shining, but all Rhett could see was darkness.  

 

\-------------------------------------------  

“As always, stay your Mythical best.” Link uttered his final line and leaned back in the red booth where the Mythical Crew and he and Rhett took their meals. The camera shut off and the crew wordlessly gathered their things and walked out the front doors. 

 

Link felt the smooth table under his fingertips.  Staring at his hands, he wiped invisible crumbs off the table, taking in the feel of the room as tears slipped down his cheeks.  He was proud of the success of their business and proud that he was able to express his thoughts to the mythical beasts and be strong without Rhett by his side. Now with the camera off, he felt the strength and bravery leave his body as he put his head in his hands and allowed himself to truly feel all that had been taken from him.   

 

Seconds ticked by.  All that could be heard was the quiet sniffling sounds of Link’s tears. Wiping his face with his palms, he took a deep breath.  _ This is it. Enough.  _ Closing the door on his heart, he grabbed his bag, took one last glance at the Mythical Entertainment sign framed by wood and left the building.  

 

\-----------------------------------------

Rhett stood in the dark, dusty motel room staring blankly at the faded pink wallpaper, unthinking and unfeeling.  His extremities felt cold and detached and his heart was longing.  Longing for the people whose names he refused to form his lips around because it was too painful.  But who never left him in peace, wouldn’t leave him in peace, because his conscience would not allow him to forget.  It would be too easy, too merciful, if he could just fall in a deep dark hole and stay there forever. Instead, his mind kept giving him flashes of their faces, horrifying glimpses of suffering and regret.  Even happy memories could not soothe him because they would turn sour and strange, taking on a bloody hue that he could not understand. 

 

Desperate to grasp onto something pleasant, something that reminded Rhett of simpler times, he turned on his phone and searched through YouTube trying to find a silly episode of GMM. Maybe if he saw himself carefree sitting next to the one person in the world that could give him strength, that his mind would be eased. Instead, he saw a new video posted, “Message to Mythical Beasts: An apology and a sad announcement.” He mashed the screen of his phone with his thumb, impatient as the screen popped up and took minutes to load.  

 

“Hello to all the Mythical Beasts! I feel like there is a discussion to be had. Let’s talk about that.” Link smiled at the camera and the familiar GMM intro music and video came on the screen. Music that Rhett could hum in his sleep. 

 

As the cockatriece took flight on the screen, Rhett’s tired mind ticked by.  Link wasn’t at the Mythical desk in the area where GMM was recorded, but sitting in the red plushy booths that were between the kitchen and entrance.  The gray wall of car sketches and the corner of a framed picture of a sailboat on rocky waters behind him. Rhett couldn’t recall a time when they had recorded anything there.  

“Good mythical morning! As you can see Rhett is not here. I know you have been worried and angry, but he is alright.  It’s been awhile since the awful livestream encounter and I thought we all needed time to process and come to terms with the event.” Link’s voice was smooth as it caressed Rhett’s troubled brain.  Link folded his hands on the hard shiny surface of the table and continued. 

 

“First off, I want to thank all the mythical beasts, no matter how long you have called yourself one, for your support.  I also, want to extend my heartfelt apologies for the events surrounding the livestream.  No matter what is going on in our personal lives, we have made a commitment to you and we failed in that commitment.  I am confident that if Rhett were here, he would echo my sentiment.” Rhett could see Link hesitate and take a deep breath. He and Link had not spoken since that night weeks ago.  Rhett heard what Link said about them being through with their business, their friendship over, but even so the next lines Link delivered shocked him to his core.    

 

“It has been an honor and privilege to be a part of your daily routine. I am sorry to say that GMM has come to an end.  Rhett and I feel that it has reached its logical conclusion. If our show was half as important to you as it was to me and to Rhett, than I am one happy Beast.   

 

I know that this will come as a shock to many of you and many of you will be very upset at this announcement. I feel for you, I really do, because I am going through many similar emotions.  Thank you for seeing our little show as important and making it the success it is today.  We will always be grateful to you, Mythical Beasts. As always, stay your mythical best!”

 

At that, a few tears slipped down Link’s cheeks as he waved to the camera and smiled.  Then some montage of GMM clips flashed on the screen, but Rhett didn’t see any of the favorite moments.  He gazed blankly at the phone as it sailed through the air and smashed into the wall, leaving a dent, phone in pieces on the floor.  

  
It really was over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! It gets worse before it gets better. Thank you for hanging in there and reading.


	3. Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's four years later, and Rhett is alone. 
> 
> He drinks to forget. 
> 
> What terrible thing did he do that he doesn't want to remember?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He was determined to drink until the self hatred in his mind became a slight buzz of annoyance, maybe even a gentle breeze of warmth and serenity if he was lucky. 
> 
> More than likely, he would spend too much money (money he didn’t have), wake up in the dirt somewhere covered in vomit and blood (preferably his own), remembering nothing from the night.

The drink felt cool and solid in Rhett’s hand as he swirled his wrist and took a large gulp.  He set it down roughly on the shiny wooden bar top with a loud slam, melting ice bouncing with a clink. Wiping his mouth, he hazily scanned for the bartender. 

 

“Would you care for another round, sir?” 

 

Grunting in response, Rhett didn’t look at the bartender, but at his empty glass.  He was unsure of how many or even what he was consuming anymore.  But it didn’t matter.  _ This was not a night to start counting _ , he mused as he plopped a piece of ice into his mouth, savoring the hint of alcohol clinging to the smooth surface.  

 

He was determined to drink until the self hatred in his mind became a slight buzz of annoyance, maybe even a gentle breeze of warmth and serenity if he was lucky.  More than likely, he would spend too much money (money he didn’t have), wake up in the dirt somewhere covered in vomit and blood (preferably his own), remembering nothing from the night.    

 

If he were being honest, or was capable of introspection at the moment, this was why he drank.  Sure it felt good to be free of inhibitions and to have a burst of short lived euphoria, but there was an underlying reason. The real reason he drank was to forget. That was how he liked it, forgetting. Allowing his psyche to forget just for a moment that the last four years had ever existed. Blotting out a lifetime with loved ones that he would never see again.  Expunging the shake of his hands and the white hot pain of remembering when he let everything slip through his fingers that caused his own demise.  

 

He hoped that by downing ten or twelve or fifty shots a night, it would kill enough brain cells and fry those years from existence, the years that were forever interwoven with firsts and laughter and faces he would never get back.  Happy memories that caused just as much suffering as horrible ones. 

 

Maybe if he could forget, he wouldn’t be so damned unhappy. Maybe he could move on with what lonely and insignificant life he had left. Maybe he could even be happy for ten minutes. Slamming his hand on the counter, he snorted at the thought. 

 

_ Happiness is gone. It left the night that I took everything that mattered from me _ .  _ And everyday since that night, I have continued to throw away and decimate everything that made my life matter. I deserve whatever pain I have coming to me.  _

 

He took another long pull of dark liquid that was sloshing around in his glass.  The burn travelled down his throat and into his gut, setting his insides on fire.  The discomfort felt good. It reminded him that he was still alive. It it weren’t for the constant pain in his chest, he would have thought he had died years ago. He should be dead.  Everything fell apart because of him.  Drinking more intoxicating liquid, the burning intensified and he felt he was half way on the road to death. He could feel himself floating along the burn, being carried away.  But all at once, it dissipated, leaving him cold and empty. Soulless and alone.  

  
Years ago, the thought of such unbearable loneliness would have made Rhett curl into a ball and sob. Sob until his insides cracked with the force and his tear ducts dried up. Now he was just too damn tired and too fucking drained to cry anymore.  Besides, crying was for people. People who had things to lose, people who had souls that were in pain, people who loved and were loved back.  Rhett wasn’t a person anymore.  He was just a thing. A thing that ate, drank and breathed; a worthless piece of flesh. He had nothing left to lose and no one loved him, not even himself. He couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with his thoughts. If he could disconnect from his body and leave it as a husk on the floor, he would.  But instead, he continued ordering and drinking his dark liquid, trying to numb himself into submission.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and commenting! Your comments give me life. :)
> 
> I know Rhett is having a tough time. I'm sorry. It gets worse, before it gets better. Hang in there!


	4. Divorce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett's life continues to crumble. He seeks out the only person left, Link. 
> 
> Will he be able to survive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The timeline is fluid. Events are going to jump around a bit. 
> 
> In case of confusion, this event takes place before the fight between Rhett and Link of Chapter 1. 
> 
> [Rhett] wanted to comfort her, hold her and drown in this together. He knew he had left her alone in this, had broken her trust and now he didn’t know what he could do. 
> 
> "Don't you touch me [Rhett]. You don’t get to touch me after what you have done to me. To our family!"

“I can’t fucking do this anymore!” Jessie screamed, spit flying onto Rhett’s face. Hair mussed and greasy, stains on her shirt, and ripped pajama pants, she looked wild and animal-like as she ran through the house throwing Rhett’s things at him.  

 

“This is all your fault. Your fault! Do you hear me? I want you out of this house. I can’t look at you anymore! I can’t look at you without seeing . . . without seeing . . .” She trailed off, eyes distant and red, soft sobs escaping her lips.

 

“Jessie…” Rhett whispered reaching out for her. He wanted to comfort her, hold her and drown in this together. He knew he had left her alone in this, had broken her trust and now he didn’t know what he could do.  There was no going back, no fixing what he had done to her and done to himself.

 

“No, Rhett. Don’t touch me. Don’t you ever fucking touch me again. You don’t get to touch me after what you have done to me. To our family!” 

 

“Jessie . . . Please. . . I’m hurting, too. . . “ 

 

“Don’t you dare put your shit on me.  I want you out of this house and out of my life. When I get back, you shouldn’t be here.” She screamed, yanking on jeans and grabbing her purse.  

 

Rhett could hear her slam the door and the car engine start up. Pressing his hands to his face, he didn’t have the energy to cry anymore. He gathered up his meager belongings,  _ she can have everything else, it’s meaningless _ , and dragged himself to the front porch. 

 

Rhett felt hollowed out as he placed the key under the mat. He knew it had been a long time coming. Ever since they said, “I do.” the days of their fragile relationship were numbered.  

 

There was only one person left in the world and his body reached out across the miles and longed for him. Taking out his phone, he pressed his speed dial.  “Hey, Link, buddy. Can you come get me? Jessie. . . Jessie wants a divorce.”  He allowed a single tear to escape his eye and plop onto the cement, leaving a round wet stain.  

  
_ That’s it, that’s all I get. One tear. It’s what I deserve.   _ Link was there to pick him up ten minutes later. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to keep this Jessie chapter short and sweet. 
> 
> Rhink action is coming up, soon! Thank you for your patience and for reading. I hope you enjoyed.


	5. A Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett is covered in blood, slumped against Link’s door frame. He is trapped in his own mind and won’t even respond to Link. The only words he exhales are, “Not my blood.” 
> 
> What happened? 
> 
> Why is Rhett beaten and bruised and bloody?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unknown to his body, his heart had guided the way. It had taken him home, to the one person that completed him and made him feel safe.

Somewhere between slight inebriation and I can barely stay seated in my chair, Rhett heard a high happy laugh.  He was in mid guzzle, looking out over the rim of his glass at nothing in particular.  Just staring through the incandescent glass bottles and fancy glasses that sat behind the bar. Again, he heard a high flutter of a laugh that caressed at his ear drum.  He whipped around in his seat, almost losing his balance, glowering, searching for the laugh’s source.  

 

Faces blended together and in his drunken confusion he couldn’t focus his eyes on any one object or person. Teetering, his feet took him to the center of the room.  Slowly, arms waving to keep his balance, he spun around listening intently.  He could hear more sweet laughter as a memory tugged at his brain. 

 

\-------------

 

A door was opening. Rhett couldn’t remember how he had gotten here. One minute he was stumbling out of the hospital and the next minute he was slumped on a front porch, head buried in his knees. Unknown to his body, his heart had guided the way.  It had taken him home, to the one person that completed him and made him feel safe.  The pillar of strength that Rhett loved with his entire being. Even though his brain was not in tune with his soul and denied anything but friendly adoration. 

 

As Rhett blindly sat on the stoop, a chuckle caressed his eardrums. A laugh, a high melody of sweetness, as the screen door squeaked open.  A velvety sound that would normally make his insides turn to mush and bring a smile to his face even on his worst day.  The vocalization did nothing for him now, as he sat numb to the world. His focus was turned inward, playing and replaying scary and heart wrenching images of the things he had allowed to happen. All his failures recorded and on repeat for his subconscious to enjoy. 

 

The tinkling of giggles ended with a sudden gasp. 

 

“Rhett? Rhett. What’s wrong? Are you ok?” Faintly, Rhett felt hands yanking him to his feet.  A light graze on his skin, barely noticeable. He could feel himself being shaken. “Rhett. It’s Link. What is wrong with you?” 

 

He was whisked through hallways and doors and rooms. Each one whipped by his eyes, unfocused and unrecognizable.  Rhett unknowingly allowed himself to be led to a chair and was urged to sit.  Truth be told, Rhett could have been tugged to the edge of a cliff and would have continued walking for all he knew of what was going on or where he was.  

 

Blinking, he felt the hard oak underneath his fingers. Pressing and rubbing his palms into the rough wood, he could feel his palms being scraped. The small discomfort pushed some of the fuzziness away.   Looking up, he saw the hands of a clock ticking.  _ Tick tock. _  Slow and steady.  But that was the only thing that was slow and steady. His heart was beating erratically in his chest, and his lungs gasped in small breaths. Intaking just enough oxygen to keep him alive, but not enough to keep his chest from burning. He felt disconnected as his body slumped under it’s own weight. Red, swollen eyes that hurt every time his eyelids closed. He tried to focus on where he was, but the blur of tears couldn’t be blinked away. Wetness trapped behind his eyes, it obscured his already failing vision.

 

“Rhett, you’re bleeding. What happened? Talk to me.” The voice felt far away, like someone yelling underwater.  The concern in the high lovely voice was a buzz in Rhett’s brain. His hands wanted to soothe and to insist that he was ok, but he couldn’t move or speak. A heavy weight sat on his tongue making it feel useless, his mouth parched.  Running the sandpapery appendage over his dry lips, his lips parted but no sound emerged.   

 

Rhett could feel stinging and a cool wet liquid on his arms and face and then a gentle rubbing.  Over and over again to each laceration, each tiny scrape, he could feel the same combination of sensations, but through a thick haze, like he was outside of his body. Stinging, cool and rubbing.  

 

“You’re covered in blood. Where did this all come from? Rhett. Rhett!”  Rhett could feel a pressure on his shoulder, meant to connect to him. Comfort him. The heat from the other man’s fingers sent a radiating pressure that flowed through his limbs and settled in his chest, making him stop breathing.  

 

Suddenly, he could feel every sensation magnified. Each tiny cut burned like hot oil had been poured on him.  His head pounded and his brain threatened to burst and take out part of his skull.  Insides spilled out and exposed to the world as his soul was sucked out of his body and thrown into fire.  

 

The tiny sounds of the house, a creak of foundation settling, the whoosh of air through pipes, the ceiling fan all banged and clanked around in his eardrums, picking up speed. Everything was too loud and too bright.  His senses couldn’t keep up with the rush of stimuli that normally Rhett’s mind would ignore and file to the back of his brain.  Now everything was right in front of him, on display, vying for his attention as he tried to push the unheard screams from his heart and mind. He pressed his palms to the side of his head and squeezed, trying to rid himself of the blare of sounds echoing in his skull.          

 

“S’not my blood.” He sputtered out, voice hollow and tinny. Rhett didn’t recognize himself.  Didn’t even realize that he had spoken. The words felt foreign to his mouth and the taste of his own voice was bitter like vinegar.    

 

Feeling arms wrap around him, he continued to stare straight ahead at the clock, through time and space, feeling his blood leave his body.   _ Tick tock. _ Maybe if he ignored the truth, ignored his friend’s breathy crying, ignored his own heartbeat, he could will himself back into that moment.  _ Tick tock. _ That moment of impact when everything fell apart.  _ Tick tock. _ He could change his course, fix his decisions, erase the awful things that were done.  _ Tick tock.  _ He could do something different, sacrifice his own essence and maybe he wouldn’t be here hollowed out, unable to form coherent thoughts, blood on his hands that would never wash away.  _ Tick tock. _

  
“Not my blood.” He whispered again, dry, sticky lips chaffing against each other.  “Not my blood.” He repeated over and over again as tearless sobs tore through him, coating everything in a dull ache. His face contorting and ugly as tragedy took hold of him. A mantra, “Not my blood,” as his body began to tremble uncontrollably and rock back and forth.  “Not my blood.” As he fell apart in his friend’s arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I am making life difficult for Rhett and Link. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. My brain begged me to tell this.
> 
> Rhinkiness is coming. Hang in there! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy. Comments and kudos give me life. :D


	6. Coping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four years after the loss of their friendship and Link seems to have it all together. He has a new job and new opportunities. It seems like he has it all. 
> 
> Or does he?
> 
> We also get a flashback of Rhett and Link.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The time line is fluid. Events are going to jump around a bit. 
> 
> “Oh, Rhett . . .’ Link whispered sadly to himself, surveying the room that had once been filled with laughter and light, now filled with blood and chaos and the sounds of Rhett’s unsteady breathing. Link knelt down and put a hand on the blonde man’s damp, sweaty hair. “I love you. Why do you torture yourself?”

“I bet those big wigs are going to love the new ideas you have, Link.”

 

“Yeah, Link. We should celebrate!”

 

The table of Link’s friends and employees clinked their glasses together, laughing happily.  Their joy was contagious and he threw his head back and laughed heartily.  

 

“One can only hope. If they love our ideas, half as much as you guys do, we’re golden.”  Link chuckled. 

 

“Here’s to a successful meeting.”  

 

Link had been contacted by CBS New York.  They had seen he and Christy’s show, The LinKristy Hour, on YouTube and were intrigued. Link and Christy were known by their fifteen million subscribers as the family friendly presence on the internet.  Part of their show was based on video blogging that was on all sorts of topics that related to kids: health, safety, education, toys and entertainment.   The other part of their show was an off the cuff ten minute show centered on kids and their parents, performing challenges, taste tests, games and crafts where parents and kids could compete and spend time together.  The show was goofy and fun and wildly successful.  

 

Link hopped on a plane and had travelled to New York for a business meeting with CBS New York in the hopes that they would be wowed by the new TV series he wanted to try, Will It Kid?   The small idea had snowballed and now here he was in New York, with his team, about to pitch his big ideas to a TV network. 

 

Laughing, he couldn’t believe his luck. Too bad, Christy couldn’t make it. She was back in California holding down the fort, taking care of the kids and keeping the show going in his absence.  The thought of her dedication to his dream and their children tugged at his heart and put a smile on his face. 

 

When he had brought up the idea four years ago, after the crashing and burning of Good Mythical Morning, Christy was apprehensive.  After what had happened with the livestream debacle, Link desperately needed to rebrand and make a new name for himself. It was a daunting task to surge forward on his own. He had only ever been part of a duo and the thought of creating a new show alone, scared him.  

 

Christy didn’t know if she could match Link’s enthusiasm and energy on camera and was unsure of her comedic and artistic presence.  But she couldn’t say “No,” to his pleas.  It wasn’t his fault that his dream had been destroyed.  

 

Being separated from Rhett was harder than he wanted to admit to himself.  Christy knew it and had seen it in the dullness of Link’s eyes the night he walked through the door of their home. She had heard it in his voice when he could barely utter Rhett’s name as he bowed his head, thick heavy tears dripping from his chin.  She had felt it when he lost his footing and slumped into her arms.  She had seen that he was mourning the loss of half of his heart.    

 

Although they were married in name alone for the sake of their show, he still felt a bond toward her.  They were partners in business and partners in raising their children, but nothing more.  Neither felt an ill will toward the other. It just was a fact of life that Link only had love in his heart for the one person that he had thrown away. And it hurt more than he knew, but he wouldn’t allow himself to dwell on it.  His heart was shut down, closed for business.  His main focus was his internet show and his children.  

 

It took years to build the fan base and earn the trust of the former Mythical Beasts, now known as the Nealsters.  After four years, Link and Christy had developed an easy give and take in front of the cameras.    Her connection to the fans and the fans’ children was easy and natural.  She brought a happy energy to the camera that Link found difficult to do since his separation from Rhett.   Soon she was laughing and flirting with the camera, much like he used to.  She had surpassed him in many areas and he was proud of her.  She was the heart of their show and their success made him feel lucky to have her in his life.  

 

But still, it was not the same as when he worked alongside Rhett. A deep part of Link’s brain that he refused to acknowledge, knew that his whole heart wasn’t it in.  Not like with GMM or Buddy System or Commercial Kings or any of the dozens of shows, sketches and songs they had created together.  The life Rhett and Link had built together and torn asunder together seemed more tangible and bright than the fragile partnership that he and Christy maintained.  

 

Even now, years later, there was a crying man hiding in the desolate reaches of his soul, grasping out and calling for Rhett. It was Rhett that he should be working with, it was Rhett that he should be kissing, it was Rhett that he should be tying himself to, it was Rhett, everything and always Rhett. Link refused to acknowledge these twinges of need.  Each random thought of the blonde man or tear that threatened to escape renewed his determination as he built stronger walls around his heart, adding barbed wire and locks through the years.   

 

A sudden crash surprised him out of his bright reverie.

 

\---------------------------------

_ Clank. Crash. Skitter.  _

 

Link heard the sound of something smashing to the floor and pieces scattering from his office.  Jumping to his feet, he ran through the offices and kitchen, scanning nooks and crannies for the source of the commotion.  Turning left, he opened the door to the studio set to see all the lights turned on. Shielding his eyes, all he could see were dark blotches in his sight as he stepped on something and felt it crunch under his foot.  Moving his foot he saw pieces of glass, his gaze slowly travelled up and over the destruction that he had heard only moments ago.  Camera equipment and their huge TV screen that they used to watch each other during recordings had been smashed. Huge chunks of metal and wire, glass and debris scattered everywhere on the floor. Among the damage, Link spied Rhett kneeling head down, fists clenched and bloody, body trembling.  Link took a step forward as Rhett dropped to the floor in a heap, unconscious.   

 

“Oh, Rhett . . .’ Link whispered sadly to himself, surveying the room that had once been filled with laughter and light, now filled with blood and chaos and the sounds of Rhett’s unsteady breathing.  Link knelt down and put a hand on the blonde man’s damp, sweaty hair.  “I love you. Why do you torture yourself?”  

 

With much grunting and swearing, Link dragged Rhett to their office and maneuvered his body on to the couch.  Grabbing a throw and a pillow, he tried to make Rhett as comfortable as possible, as comfortable as Rhett’s large frame on a too small couch would allow. From experience, he knew that he could not get Rhett to the car like this and had a feeling the man would not be capable to being up and about anytime soon.  So he made the necessary phone calls. The first call was to Christy, the easier of the two calls. 

 

“Hey babe.”

 

“Hi, Link. You on your way home?”

 

“No, honey. It’s Rhett.” That’s all he needed to say. That’s all he ever needed to say. Christy knew Link’s soul and knew that if Rhett needed him, Link was there. Forever and always. 

 

“Ok. See you tomorrow. I love you.”

 

“Me too.” Link said as he hung up.  

 

He dialed again and as the phone rang, Link took a deep breath and gulped down the lump in his throat. He hated this part. 

 

“Hey, Jessie. It’s Link . . . “

 

“He’s too drunk to come home again, isn’t he?”

 

“No, no. We are just staying late, thought I’d call you, since he is in recording a song.” Link lied. He was never a good liar. His voice rose up at the end of each sentence as he lied, as if he were asking a question. 

 

“Link. Don’t lie to me.”  Jessie said blankly, a punctuation.  “Shit, I hate this,” she barely whispered tears in her voice, ending the conversation with the click of the phone and then an empty silent space. 

 

“I hate this, too.” Link said into the phone, talking to no one but the Merle Haggard albums on the wall.  

 

He glanced over at Rhett, passed out, eyes fluttering madly under eyelids. Leaning down, he placed a soft lingering kiss to the man’s forehead, pressing his own forehead against his friend's sweaty brow, absorbing the man’s sadness.  “I hate this, too,” he whispered, throat thick with unshed tears. He got up, gathered his laptop and a blanket and went to the chair across from Rhett, falling into a fitful sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. The comments have been fabulous and have really encouraged me through this whole process. :)


	7. Spiralling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett continues to spiral. 
> 
> Link is greeted with a familiar, yet strange face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline is fluid. Events bounce around a bit. 
> 
> Quote: “Rhett. . . Rhett. . . “ A whisper of his name floated around his eardrums. “Rhett. . . “ It was a soft floating sound in the air, feathery and light.
> 
> "Link?"

Upon hearing the clatter of a tray of empty dishes fall to the floor, Link looked up to see a greasy man in a wrinkled suit reeling back and forth ten feet away from him.  Link saw that the man’s wild hair was long and stringy, shooting in all directions.  His beard was bushy and long, gray wisps of hair curling this way and that.  Link could bet that if the man came closer, that Link would be able to smell him.  His stomach churned at the thought of what this drunken man’s scent was. Link wrinkled his nose and was about to return to his conversation when something caught his eye. 

 

The familiar glint of the strange man’s eyes held Link in place. The bright irises that couldn’t decide if they were green or gray, brown or blue.  The dilated pools in the center of glittering color.  Long fluttering eyelashes that bordered them. It was like Link was in a dream.  Everything moved in slow motion and felt heavy and hazy.  The familiar man swayed on his feet, looking in Link’s direction.  Link was rooted in place, those eyes boring into his soul.  

 

Link felt a flush of pleasant heat start in his chest and spread slowly outward through his body.  It was like he had been stranded in the deserted Arctic, freezing to death and had finally found fire. A flood of memory flashed across his brain, sweet moments that Link had tried to suppress, but could never be forgotten, a secret mole, soft locks falling to the ground as Link clipped away at hair, the smell of beard oil, a deep vibrating laugh, and those eyes. 

 

Eyes that would make him freeze and melt all at the same time. Eyes that he counted on to brighten his day and wash over him with their warmth. Eyes that could recognize all of Link’s moods and had seen all of Link’s faces, had watched Link grow up and that knew all parts of him, better than Link knew himself.  The eyes that Link dreamed about, Rhett’s eyes. 

All at once, the strange familiar man began to walk away and the rush of moments stopped. Link felt breathless from the loss of this man’s gaze, as reality settled back into place.   “Excuse me.” He mumbled shooting up from his seat and chasing after the unkempt man.  

 

For a man that seemed like he had too much to drink, he sure was fast on his feet.  Link ducked around the corner and saw him swaggering to a nearby table and falling into it.  Link sauntered up to the table and gazed down at the man. “Rhett.” 

 

“Hi, Link.” Rhett slurred, barely able form the words.

 

\----------------------

 

“Rhett. . . Rhett. . . “ A whisper of his name floated around his eardrums. “Rhett. . . “ It was a soft floating sound in the air, feathery and light. 

 

“Link?” A gruff voice, foreign sounding from disuse emerged from Rhett’s lips. A grating noise against the soft breath in his mind. 

 

Looking up, he saw a dark figure, sunlight framing it’s body.  A jolt went through his heart and quickly left him, making his body feel even more tired, as he realized who this person was not. 

 

“Hey, hey man. That was song was beautiful.  You should really be an entertainer or something.”  The stout man poured out in a rush of too quick words and sentences. Head topped with greasy gray hair and a face of twisted knots in his beard vibrated in front of him.  “Really, man.  You could really make a lot of money. You shouldn’t be here in the slums underneath the highway.” The man said, eyeing Rhett’s cup of coins that he had collected from the interpass above.  

 

Clutching his cup to his chest, he emptied the coins into his hand and stuffed them in his pocket.   

He hadn’t thought his voice sounded so great. It was dull and lifeless, nothing like the deep baritone that would echo in his chest and ring out for miles. It was missing its pair, its falsetto.  The bright sweet melody to his bass.  The counterpart that made his rise and fall sound more alive and exciting.  Shrugging his shoulders, he turned away from the jittery man. 

 

“Come on man, that is no way to make friends.” The man said, sudden anger lacing his words, as he grabbed Rhett’s shoulder spinning him around. 

 

“M’need no friends.” Rhett mumbled, both hands pushing the other man away from him.  

 

“Hey, man. Don’t touch me!” The man hollered, punching Rhett square in the jaw, sending him to the cracked concrete. The man was on his knees, rooting around in Rhett’s pockets for the coins the blonde man had collected, as Rhett lay dazed, trying to focus his vision.  “I’ll be taking these for my trouble, asshole. Next time, you should be nicer.” The man stood up and gave Rhett two swift firm kicks to his ribs. The sudden shock of pain emanated through his torso and made his teeth grind.  Wrapping his arms around himself, he curled up in the fetal position and threw up on the pavement.  He didn’t get up for a long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for commenting. Any and all feedback is appreciated. :)


	8. Come Back To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett does something unforgivable, but Link forgives him anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link was silenced with a crushing kiss. The body above him was not someone he recognized. It was the monster, the sad being his best friend had become.
> 
> Come back to me, Rhett. Come back, please.

“Ahh! No! No!” 

 

Link groaned as he rolled over, hearing Rhett’s screaming from the guest bedroom.   _ Not again. Poor man.  _ Ever since Jessie had kicked Rhett out and he started staying in Link’s guest bedroom, this happened three or four times a week. Rhett would scream out in his sleep and Link would go to him to shake him out of his nightmare. 

 

Link tried once or twice to wait it out, hoping the nightmare would resolve itself and let the man sleep in peace, but Rhett’s screams had only gotten more frantic and louder.  It seemed like sleep paralyzed the blonde man and he couldn’t even wake himself up.  Link was the only calming force that could pull Rhett back into this world and soothe his mind.  

 

Throwing his feet over the bed and padding across the hall, he slowly opened the door.  

“Stay with me. No, no, no, no. What did I do? Stay.” Rhett moaned, as nonsensical sounds blended with words and phrases. Climbing into bed with Rhett, Link grasped the man’s bicep, rubbing up and down his arm, while the other hand cupped his face, trailing fingers under the jawline. 

 

“Rhett. Rhett. It’s ok. I’m here. Wake up.” Link whispered.   “It’s just a nightmare. Come back to me.” 

 

Rhett’s eyes flew open and he began to weep.  Thick, heavy tears streaming down the curve of his face, soaking his beard and pillow.  Link grabbed the larger man and crushed him to his body.  “Oh, Rhett. It’s ok. It’s just a dream, brother,” Link whispered, wiping the tears from his friend’s eyes and kissing his forehead.  

 

“Link, that night. . . it’s not a dream . . . I can’t stop . . .so much blood. . .  I want to forget. . . “ Rhett cried as he flipped Link onto his back and got on top of him.  

 

“Rhett, what . . .?” Link was silenced with a crushing kiss.  Lips mashed together, teeth clicking against each other.  Link’s body responded without his consent.  His mind was lost as his lips moved ferociously against that of his best friend’s.   His hands dipping into the smooth curve of the larger man’s back, his nails digging in and hips writhing.  

 

The feel of the blonde man’s hard penis as it slid up and down Link’s body brought him painfully back to reality.  This wasn’t right. His friend was vulnerable and in pain. In his heart, he knew they would both regret this.  “What are you doing?” Link said against Rhett’s lips, pushing the blonde man away. 

 

In one move, Rhett grabbed the brunette's hands and pinned them painfully against the headboard and had the man’s boxers down.  Fully naked and exposed, Link was afraid of this man. This man whom he would entrust his life to had him tasting the metallic taste of terror.  The body above him was not someone he recognized. It was not the man who protected him from bullies in the third grade, not the man who experienced the pains of life by his side since they were barely old enough to cross the street alone, not the man who chased his dreams with Link at his side. This man was a monster, the sad being his best friend had become.  Someone with Rhett’s face, but void of his laugh, his heart and his care. 

 

The brunette twisted and tugged at his hands, causing his wrists to burn. Link whimpered, “Rhett, I don’t want this. Stop,” as he tried to use his body to push the man off of him. 

 

Rhett ignored his pleas and crushed his lips back down on Link’s.  Roughly jamming his tongue in between Link’s clenched teeth and tasting his mouth.  Unable to speak, Link begged Rhett with his mind, _ Come back, Rhett. This isn’t you. Come back to me, please. _

 

Breathless, Rhett broke the kiss and concentrated his efforts on the smaller man’s jawline and ran his tongue down his neck, nipping and sucking.  “Make me forget, Link.”  Rhett whispered into the hollow of Link’s neck as his other hand trailed down and settled on Link’s crotch, palming him.  

 

Link squeezed his eyes shut and pressed the back of his spinning head into the pillow.  He wanted to give into the blonde man’s pleas, wanted to take pleasure and give freely. The sensations felt good, too good, but this was not right. This was not supposed to be happening this way.  He had dreamed of a totally different scenario in his mind, his fantasies did not involve force, but mutual affection and adoration.  It involved them not being able to hold back from their feelings anymore and succumbing to lust and deep desire.  It involved love.  Not fear and tears and Link biting his lips to suppress a scream.  “Not like this, Rhett.”  Link whispered.  

 

Rhett pushed forward, teasing at Link’s nipples. Kissing over his chest and biting his clavicles. Exploring Link’s chest with his tongue and moist lips.  Tears streamed down Link’s cheeks, choking him. His body so tense, it might snap in half. 

 

“Rhett. Stop.” Link yelled, finding his voice. 

 

Rhett looked up with glassy, far away eyes. Shaking his head, he focused on Link, saw the panic in his friend’s eyes and broke down.  Clutching the man’s shoulders in his palms, nails digging in, he lay on top of Link, his body quaking. Link stretched his arms out, flexing and rolling his wrists.  

 

His very essence, everything inside of him, was torn in half by his friend’s actions, but he ached for his sadness. No one should have to go through what Rhett was going through right now.  He was alone in the world and all he had was Link.  “Link, Link.  I can’t anymore. I’m sorry.”   No matter what Rhett has done, they were partners in this life, sealed in a blood oath made years ago, and that meant Rhett’s pain was Link’s pain.  Link held on to Rhett’s quivering body, trying to force the suffering out of his friend and hold it in his own body. 

 

Soothing him the only way he knew how, he rubbed up and down Rhett’s back, “Shh. Brother, it’s ok.  You’re ok.”  But Link didn’t know how to make this better. Link knew he wouldn’t be enough for the tall man, as he couldn’t reassemble the broken pieces shattered inside. There was no magical cure for when your life is falling apart at the seams.  There were no words to say that would heal him.  Link felt totally useless, muttering promises of things getting better in his friend’s ear when he wasn’t sure Rhett would ever be better.  Rhett had been broken and twisted, his whole world lost and destroyed. How was he going to come back from this?

 

As the blonde man cried himself to sleep, Link prayed, begged and hoped for one wish:  _ Come back to me Rhett. Please, come back.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Any feedback and comments are appreciated!
> 
> :)


	9. Until They Weren't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett and Link united again, the day was bright and filled with laughter. The story takes a turn for the worse as Rhett lies convulsing on the street, heaving into the concrete. What is it that he remembers? 
> 
> What causes him to scream into the night, "Stay with me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He crossed his arms and held onto to his nauseous stomach tightly. The police sirens lit up his eyes as he watched men in bright emergency colors pulling the broken pieces of his heart out of the demolished truck. He knew deep down in the darkest part of his being that it was too late.

 

Link was practically dancing with each step he took as he headed back towards the hotel from his meeting.  The meeting with CBS had gone perfectly, Link was on fire making people laugh and sounding intelligent with his intriguing ideas and easy banter. 

 

As Link skipped through the hotel room door and toward the table to drop off his wallet and key card, he heard the bathroom door open. Turning around, Link’s mouth fell open as his eyes took in the sight of a clean, trimmed, statuesque giant of a man, white towel draped across his hips, emerging from the bathroom engulfed in a billowing fog of steam. The sickly, old man from last night was gone, replaced with the Rhett of their youth. He looked as if age and time had not dared to lay a finger on him. His skin was smooth, sleek hair clinging to his forehead in soft tendrils, eyes gleaming.  

 

Link felt a jolt of electricity in his extremities at the sight of such a beautiful human being. Taking in the sight leisurely, Link couldn’t believe he had let this creature leave his life for so long.  Link was unsure how he had even survived those years.  Uncertain how his eyes even managed to keep working without this beguiling figure to motivate them.

 

As if in a dream, Link felt himself float over to Rhett and press his palms to the man’s warm solid back.  His hands stung in pleasure, as he glided down and grasped the blonde man’s firm backside.  On tip toes, Link pressed his face to the nape of the other man’s neck and inhaled soap and skin.  No hint of last night’s foul odor.  Licking his lips, he pressed his mouth to the short hairs lining his neck.  He could almost hear Rhett’s body sigh at the touch.  Pressing his whole body against Rhett’s, he wrapped his arms around him, feeling himself tightening in his pants.  A moan escaped his lips. 

 

“Well, it looks like you approve.” Rhett chuckled as he went to the closet where his clothes were hanging.  

 

“Wha- a-a-t?” Link shook the images from his mind. 

 

“I cut my hair and trimmed my beard. I said, It looks like you approve.” Rhett gave him a strange look.  “Anyways, I’ll be ready in no time. So, where are we going? I am starved.” 

 

\----------------------------

 

Falling out of the quaint diner, their laughter rumbled from their bellies and out their mouths, wafting into the night air.  Rhett put his arm around Link, pulling him close and releasing him.  They couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. The evening was filled with subtle touches, a graze of the hand as they both reached for bread, a clap on the shoulder as they reminisced, a grab of a bicep for leverage as a head was thrown back in laughter, an accidental or not so accidental bump as their bodies fluttered against each other from standing too closely.  

 

Both were drunk on each others’ existence in this world.  From the fact that they didn’t have to suppress their need for one in the other’s life.  The pull of the other man was stronger than either of them had ever known. Years of separation and suppressing that pull had dragged them down and made them weak. They hadn’t realized how strong their bond was, until it was severed, stranding them and strangling them.  Reunited, their souls felt full, like they were two missing puzzle pieces that finally found out where they belonged and made the picture complete and bright.  

 

Both men walked side by side down the darkened street, one man’s hands brushing against the other, back to the hotel.  Their voices rang out and echoed down the empty streets.  It was like they picked up where they had left off all those years ago, before everything went to hell.  It was so simple and natural, Rhett wondered how they ever let this fight get so out of hand. Why they let love and friendship slip so easily out of their grasp.   

 

In the middle of his musings, his mind picked up on the distant sound of tires screeching and metal on metal grinding somewhere down the street, making the hairs on his body tingle and stand on end. 

 

_ Screech. Scrape. Smash. _

 

He froze in place as the world became fuzzy and blurry in his vision. His eyes glazed over and his breathing caught in his throat, as his body swayed. 

 

_ Screams. Crying. Pain.  _

 

Rhett let out a small yelp as he felt his body being tossed from side to side and the impact of something slam into his chest, all the while standing on the quiet street next to Link.  

 

_ “Daddy, it hurts.” _

 

The small voice lit a fire in his ears. His whole being screamed, electricity shooting out of his appendages.   His legs gave out and he crumpled to the ground. “No, no. What did I do?” He mumbled into his hands. His trembling form was on the street with Link, but his mind was transported.

 

\-------------------------------------

 

Everything was fine until it wasn’t. The car was traveling along the quiet, dark road until it was not. His wife and children were laughing. 

 

Until they weren’t.  

 

It was unexpected. Rhett did not see the driver coming up on his left side. Did not anticipate the other driver’s chaotic movement. Did not know that he was coming into their lane, until it slammed into his truck.  Metal on metal scraping. The front of the vehicle was sent careening to the right. Turning the wheel harshly, Rhett over corrected and they spiralled out of control and the four wheeler flipped over onto its side. Metal scraping against the concrete, causing sparks. Rhett felt himself slam into the driver’s side door. As the side of his face bounced off something solid,  everything went black.  

 

Everyone was happy, bright eyes sparkling until they weren’t. 

 

“Ouch. Ugh.” The smell of gasoline tickled at his nose. Rhett felt pinpricks against his cheek as his heavy eyelids fluttered, trying to open.  His body felt leaden and bruised to the bone as he let out a moan of pain.  Bringing his shaky hand to his head, he pulled away with a red warm wetness.   A fumbling hand felt along his left side, pressing a tender part and caused him to hiss through his teeth.  His head felt like it had bricks weighing it down as he lifted it from the cracked glass and focused his eyes.  Taking in the destruction, his foggy mind tried to connect the dots of what just happened.  Licking his lips and lazily moving his eyes from the broken glass to smoke pouring from the front of his car, it clicked and a wave of adrenaline came over him. 

 

_ Oh no, Jessie! The kids!  _

 

“What happened? What did I do?” he whispered to himself. He turned his throbbing head in Jessie’s direction.  He saw her slumped over, dark hair covering her face and arms hanging. 

 

“Jessie. . .?” His throat felt raw.  He darted forward, and was pulled back. Panicking that he couldn’t reach her, he pulled against whatever kept him in place. Clawing at his torso, he fumbled with the strap, feeling his way to the clasp.  His fingers refused to work as he punched at the button to release the belt that held him captive. Finally getting the clasp undone, he crawled over to his wife and noticed that she was unresponsive, but breathing. Relief flooded him as he petted her hair and kissed her forehead. 

 

It was then, that he heard soft sounds from the back seat.  He glanced back and his mind short circuited.  _ Oh, my boys.  _

 

Rhett inhaled sharply as he glimpsed the crumpled body.  He reached out to Shepherd, but the boy wasn’t moving. His seat belt had malfunctioned and had not held the boy in place. He was a  broken mess on the floor.  Rhett placed his hand on the boys back. “Oh, Shep. . .”

 

The boy felt limp and lifeless, like a ragdoll.  Holding the boy’s cool hand, Rhett felt a painful crack in his chest as his heart exploded and sent sharp splinters throughout his insides.     

 

“Daddy. Daddy.” said a small scared voice. Rhett dragged his watery gaze to his older boy, Locke.  Nothing seemed to be wrong with him except a bump on the head and some scrapes.  And then he saw it. The broken window, the gory shard of glass, the red stains. 

 

“Dad, It hurts.” his son mewled.  Rhett’s eyes darted to crimson hands clutching at torn wet clothing, darkness pumping out.   _ Oh, god. What do I do? _ his brain screamed as he stared into the pale face of his lovely boy. 

 

“Oh, my baby. It will be ok.  Just breathe.” Rhett tore off his shirt and placed it on to his son’s stomach, pressing down firmly.  At Locke’s whimper, Rhett caressed his moist forehead.  “You’ll be ok. You’re gonna be ok.” Repeated like a prayer.   

 

Rhett whispered to his son, trying to comfort him as much as himself.  Images flashed before his eyes of his boy, healthy and young. He pictured his boy, suntanned and strong, in their backyard chasing after their dog, Barbara.  The peal of bright happy laughter that traveled through the trees, that caused his world to continue to spin on its axis.

 

He saw him at his first diving competition, as serious as Rhett had ever seen him.  Climbing to the top of the dive board, confident and ready.  Leaping into the air and dipping beneath the chlorinated water with a small splash.  How proud he was that day to witness the dedication his son had put forth to succeed at a sport he clearly loved. Rhett almost smiled at the memory. 

 

And now he saw a thin and weak version of the son he adored.  Face scratched, in pain and scared, blood pumping out of his tiny body.  Blood that Rhett couldn’t get to stop.  

 

“Dad? Dad, where are you?” breathing rapidly, Locke twisted his head from side to side, searching.   

 

“Locke, right here. Right in front of you.” Rhett put his hand to his small son’s icy face.  Locke leaned back and closed his eyes, fat tears slipping out, creasing his cheeks with dirt. “ M’tired.”

 

Locke let out a ragged breath and then everything slackened.  The pitter patter of his heart slowed to a stop.

 

“No, no, no, no! Stay with me. Locke, open your eyes. Just breathe. Stay with me!” Rhett screeched, voice high as his hands began to shake.  “Locke . . .LOCKE!” 

 

He pulled the small limp body into his arms and began rocking him back and forth like when he was a baby. 

 

Looking down at his face, Rhett hardly recognized the boy without the bright glint in his eye, the mischievous smile so much like his own, the wild hair that was now matted down with sweat and gore. His face was a pale tint of blue, unfocused eyes peeking beneath half closed lids.  His tiny mouth hung open, his head lolling to one side. Small and too skinny arms slumped on either side of the boy.  Rhett felt the stabbing pain as his mind shut down and his vision turned dark as time seemed to freeze.  

 

Of the many moments that Rhett would like to have stopped or slowed down, this moment was not one of them. It felt like he was dying inside over and over again, someone cutting him open, ripping out his insides, sewing him back up and starting the process all over again.    

 

“Locke, my boy. Wake up.” Rhett whispered into the boy’s hair, kissing his temple.  Locke’s blood smeared all over Rhett as he squeezed the boy to his body. 

 

“Jessie, JESSIE! Wake up, please. Call an ambulance. I can’t. . . Jessie . . .” Rhett wheezed as his voice cracked and gave out as he screamed his wife’s name continuously. Tears rained down his cheeks soaking the top of his son’s head. 

 

His family was alive and well. 

 

Until they weren’t.

 

By the time help arrived, it was too late. It took two paramedics to lift Rhett away from his sons. He refused to move from their bodies. “No, no, no. They are fine! Come on, boys, wake up! Stay with me!” His piercing cry echoed in his ears, his voice thick with tears.  As the paramedics dragged him from the truck, Rhett’s nails scratched at the interior, scraping against the metal, tearing his pointer finger nail off and cracking his pinky nail in half, leaving a trail of blood in their wake.  

 

Once outside the destruction, Rhett continued to escape the paramedics hold and dashed back to the truck, attempting to get back inside the cabin to his family.  “Sir, sir. You need to stay out here. Let us help them.” The police officer stated calmly, grabbing Rhett’s arm and pulling him away, blocking his path.  

 

People rushed to and from the scene.  Orders were shouted and loud blares of emergency vehicles overcame Rhett’s senses. Rhett stared unblinking at the truck, seeing through the paint and metal to the tiny bodies inside. 

 

“Are you hurt?” Rhett’s neck twisted slowly as he took in the paramedic that began to paw at him, checking his wounds. “S’not my blood.” Rhett muttered to the man, swatting his hands away, eyes back on the wreckage.  As the paramedic persisted, Rhett howled, “It’s not my blood! Go help my boys. NOT MY BLOOD!” His harsh voice pierced the night until his vocal cords strained and throbbed. 

 

Falling to the curb, he sat. head in his hands, as he prayed to every god that he could think of.  _ Please oh please, let them be safe _ .  _ Anything, anything, just be safe.  _

 

He crossed his arms and held onto to his nauseous stomach tightly.  The police sirens lit up his eyes as he watched men in bright emergency colors pulling the broken pieces of his heart out of the demolished truck.  He knew deep down in the darkest part of his being that it was too late. 

 

One son’s body had been crushed and twisted into an inhuman heap and he felt his other son bleed out in his arms, his tiny spirit leaving his body, dissipating into the cold air.  Wherever his boys were, they weren’t here. They were alone and in the dark and probably afraid. Rhett would never be there to protect them again, to hug them and to tell them everything was going to be fine. Never again would he chase away monsters, never tell them that he loved them and was proud of them.  Never see them as they graduated college. Little things, things he took for granted everyday, things that he put off for the future, were stolen from him, from his boys.    __

 

“Stay with me. Stay with me.” He repeated over and over, willing his life into his sons by the strength of his spirit, his tears mixing with his sweat, snot and blood. A lifetime of firsts and years of laughter and growing up and change were taken from them in a blink of an eye. All because of Rhett. 

 

_ They were so small and helpless.   _

 

_ And I’ve killed them. _

 

Life was full of promise. Until it wasn’t. 

\------------------------------------------

 

Rhett was a crumpled mess on the street, howling and crying into his hands. 

 

“Stay with me. Stay with me.” He wailed. 

 

Link was stunned at the writhing man at his feet.  _ Just like his nightmares _ , but this has never  _ happened during his waking hours.  _ the thought that something was definitely wrong, passed through Link’s brain. He knelt down on the ground and pulled the man into his lap, knowing that Rhett would not be able to snap out this alone. 

 

“Shh. It’s just a nightmare. You’re ok. You’re with me. I’m here. Come back to me, Rhett.”  Combing his hair with his fingers and rubbing his shoulders, he rocked the larger man back and forth. Minutes passed, as Rhett’s tight muscles began to loosen and his cries quieted. His clenched fists loosened and his squeezed eyes opened slowly. Link could see his friend’s vacant gaze filled with horror and unshed tears. 

  
Rhett’s body started spasming, as the man turned his face toward the ground. Link held him and whispered to him as Rhett lay on the cold concrete heaving and gagging. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a rough chapter, but I hope that it shed some light on our poor Rhett. Thank you for reading, and as always, any feedback is greatly appreciated. 
> 
> :)


	10. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was the first time that Link had always fantasized about. This was the moment that would either fill his soul with light and life or drag him down to the fiery depths of hell. But as the blonde man uttered “I love you’s,” into Link’s neck, Link held on to hope.
> 
> Will their love be enough?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this story has put Rhett and Link and you dear reader through the ringer. I hope this chapter makes up for it! Please, enjoy.

 

Back in the hotel room, Link supported the larger man as they made their way to the bed.  Gently, Link lowered the blonde man into a sitting position and proceeded to take his shoes and socks off as Rhett stared straight ahead his face tear streaked and eyes swollen.  

 

“I’m sorry, Link. I ruined everything. I don’t know what just happened.” Rhett said despondently. 

 

Link kneeled in front of his friend.  Taking the man’s hands into his own, he brought them up to his lips and kissed each knuckle.  These hands were the catalyst that drove them apart. Link marveled at how these soft, gentle hands could cause so much damage all those years ago. How strange it felt that Link’s own hands found safety in those too large palms.  

 

Rhett, snapping out of his melancholy at the moist lips on his fingers, looked down at Link with a curious expression. 

 

“Rhett, what can I do? I don’t like to see you in pain.”  Link said in between kisses. 

 

In response, Rhett lifted Link’s chin and crushed his lips down on the brunette’s, lips hungry and firm.  Link jerked away and put his hand on the man’s chest, holding him at bay. Flashes of that night in his guest bedroom crossed in front of his eyes and made him pause.  Losing his breath, he felt cold panic slither into his body.  

 

The torn feeling of coveting something but knowing it would probably destroy you in the end crept up Link’s spine. He was desperate for Rhett, but not this Rhett that almost forced himself on Link in a fitful rage of pain and despair years ago.  The same man that had the look of death in his eyes and was broken in half. Link could feel the severed pieces in that kiss, in every touch and every move that Rhett made.  Pressing more firmly in the center of Rhett’s chest, he could feel the thump of blood being pushed through and away.  He was a man with a partial heart. With only half a heart, how was Rhett to truly give his full love to Link?  There wasn’t enough of Rhett to share among them.  

 

But, as he looked into Rhett’s eyes, he saw the need behind the tears.  The need for comfort, the need for someone to love him and care for him. He had been lost and they had been separated for far too long and Link had missed him.  Link was willing to forgive this man of anything, if it would just erase the pain that furled his brow and caused heavy tears to fall from his eyes. Rhett needed this and Link did as well. As Link gazed at Rhett, a decision was made. If Rhett didn’t have enough heart to gift to Link, then Link would gladly give him more than enough of his heart to make up the difference.  

 

Reclaiming control of his body and pushing fear to the side,  Link brought his hands to the man’s neck and massaged the knots and tension away.  Running downward, his fingers found the bottom of the giant man’s shirt and pulled slowly upward, revealing a wide expanse of chest and just the hint of a belly fat. Link smiled at the thoughts of what he could do to this man, if he let him. Tracing his eyes along the spirally hairs criss crossing against the taller man’s milky white skin, Link’s gaze wandered from Rhett’s stomach and sternum up to his eyes, where Rhett sat with a question.  

 

Answering Rhett’s silent inquiry, Link leaned forward and placed delicate kisses along the man’s upper body, feeling a vibration on his lips from the echoing pleasure inside Rhett. Link felt hands in his hair, as he grazed each nipple with his teeth, sucking and teasing until each pointed sharply outward.  Prodding Rhett with his nose, he encouraged the other man to lower himself down upon the bed.  

 

Unclasping Rhett’s belt and button and lowering his zipper, Link nudged at his hips.  As Rhett raised his pelvis off the bed and Link yanked down the pants and boxer shorts, setting Rhett’s massive member free.  Link froze in awe,in mid movement, hands still gripping the apparel. Shaking himself, he threw the clothing to the side and lowered his head in between Rhett’s legs.  Mouth drooling, he outlined the man’s thighs and crevices with his tongue. Making his way to Rhett’s balls, he licked figure eights, taking one and then the other inside of his mouth and letting it plop out.  

 

Link could feel the blonde man tensing and wiggling underneath his touch.  Link basked in the feel of Rhett’s unbridled excitement as he placed his lips around the soft tip of his penis. Swirling his tongue around the head and licking up the slit.  He hollowed his cheeks and inch by glorious inch bobbed his head up and down until he had all of Rhett inside of him.  He paused to savor the taste of the man, salty and exquisite.  “Link. Oh Link. Don’t stop.” Rhett moaned, placing a heavy hand on his head, gently urging the brunette forward. 

 

Link could feel a twinge of need run up and down his own manhood at the noises escaping from Rhett.  Hand caressing Rhett’s testicles, Link renewed his efforts, lapping up precum and sliding his warm mouth up and down Rhett’s length. The shorter man revelled in the sweet sounds escaping from the man as he rose higher and higher.  

 

“Link. Stop. Come here.” Rhett whispered pulling Link up.  Rhett swiftly freed the smaller man of the troublesome clothing.  Slipping his shirt off his torso and lowering his pants, kicking the articles of clothing away.  Link straddled Rhett’s hips and allowed the taller man to pull him down into a mind bending kiss. The years of separation, the drinking, the heartache, the losses, the failures were poured into this kiss, as their lips glided against each other softly.  

  
  
  
  
  


They kissed like they would be gone from each other’s sight at any moment. Each feathery touch of lips, every nibble an apology. 

 

_ I’m sorry I pushed you away. _

 

_ I’m sorry I made you _ . 

 

Each man sorry for not being strong enough to keep the other afloat. Sorry for all the years that they were forced apart by anger and pain.  Sorry that each man had to be alone in their mourning for the other. 

 

Digging their fingertips into the other, they felt like the world could slip away at any moment. Each caress was a promise. Every time Link’s body crashed into Rhett’s was a statement of pure love and need for the other to please stay, please keep going, please. Please. Please. Begging for the man to give of everything they had and everything they would ever be to the other.  And if the world disappeared, at least they would have a piece of the other to hold on to. 

 

Link felt tickling fingers trail through his chest hair, exploring their way down to his penis, massaging up and down.   A moan that started in the deepest part of Link travelled through his body and escaped through his lips where Rhett caught it, tasting its sweetness.  

 

Link humped at Rhett’s crotch, Rhett’s penis teasing Link’s balls and anus.  Filling Link with a deep need for Rhett to devour him, to close the gap between their bodies.    

 

Grasping the larger man by the shoulders, Link rolled their bodies so that Rhett was above him. “Rhett. . . I need. . . now. . . God.” Grabbing the blonde man’s fingers, Link dipped them into his own mouth and pressed them to his hole. “Mmm. Rhett.” Link sighed, bucking his hips towards Rhett’s scissoring fingers.  Sweat dampened Link’s hair and dripped down his face as he felt Rhett’s fingers inside of him and his hand on his penis, slowly jerking up and down.  Link closed his eyes and took in the delicious sensations that Rhett was eliciting from his body as he grasped at the sheet on the bed, knuckles turning white.    

 

Link felt the loss of Rhett’s fingers, that was quickly remedied as the man shifted his body and then pressed himself to Link’s opening.  A deep pressure had Link seeing stars as he threw his head against the pillows, letting out a loud moan.  Emboldened but tentative, Rhett pushed further and waited, mouthing the smaller man’s shoulders and the hollow of his throat.  Link writhed beneath him, but Rhett took care to allow the smaller man to open up to him and accept his girth.  Rhett pumped out and thrusted a little farther into Link, running his tongue through the man’s chest hair and placing his lips over one erect nipple. 

 

Splayed on the bed and fully trusting, Link felt himself being taken further than he had ever gone.  Feeling the length of Rhett as he bottomed out, sent exquisite shivers up and down Link causing the brunette to tense his body against Rhett’s and grip his shoulders.  

 

“Are you ok?” Rhett whispered, gentle eyes scanning Link’s face. Link seized Rhett’s lower lip with his teeth and began thrusting his hips into him.  Rhett growled and slammed into the smaller man, hitting a tiny bundle of nerves that made Link cry out in passion and brought tears to his eyes. 

 

“I’ve wanted this.. For...so long..” Link cried out as he bit into Rhett’s shoulder, throwing his body wildly against him.  

 

“Mmmm. . . Yes. . .” Rhett moaned into the brunette's ear, pumping faster, sweat dripping in his eyes.  

 

Their separation was forgotten as they both became lost in the sensations of being inside one another and encompassed by the other. Words jumbled with sighs, as coherent thought was not an option.  Skin on skin contact mixing with guttural sounds and the heartbeat in their own ears. They allowed themselves to finally love one another the way that they were intended to, the way their hearts yearned to as they both trembled and spurted forth hot white liquid, their orgasms rocking through their bodies making them dizzy and weak. 

  
Rhett collapsed on top of Link, crushing the man into the mattress with his solid weight. This was the first time that Link had always fantasized about.  This was the moment that would either fill his soul with light and life or drag him down to the fiery depths of hell. But as the blonde man uttered “I love you’s,” into Link’s neck, Link held on to hope.  Wrapping his arms around him and squeezing after each declaration of love, Link allowed himself to be happy, as tears soaked his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, your comments give me life! :)


	11. No Going Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The regret and punishment Rhett feels that he deserves are too much and falls back into old habits. 
> 
> Will Link be there to catch him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowly Rhett extricated himself from his lover and swung his bare feet over the side of the bed. Elbows on his knees, head in his hands, he begged the oxygen in the room to enter his lungs. His head felt like it was swimming and his body vibrated, calling him to action.

 

 

_ Screams. Crashes. Crunching of metal.  _

 

Rhett woke with a start, confused as he gaped at the darkness, his eyes playing tricks with the grooves in the ceiling.  Heart skittering behind his ribs, he pressed his palm to his chest in panic. He could swear that he heard screaming, Link’s howls of pain mixed in with a distant memory of tragedy.  Choking and trying to pull in air, Rhett felt his esophagus swell and his limbs become numb and tingly.  He glanced over to Link and swept the hair off his forehead.  The beautiful man was sound asleep, his lips upturned in a smile, head in the crook of his arm, leg thrown over Rhett.  

 

Slowly Rhett extricated himself from his lover and swung his bare feet over the side of the bed.  Elbows on his knees, head in his hands, he begged the oxygen in the room to enter his lungs.  His head felt like it was swimming and his body vibrated, calling him to action.  What action, Rhett didn’t know. He just knew that he wanted to run away and escape, that his body felt too large in a room that was suddenly too warm and undersized.  He felt crowded by the smaller man, but at the same time missed the pressure of his body against his own.  Ragged breaths escaped his lips as he began to pace the room, amped up for no good reason.  

 

Everything took on a monstrous look. Table lamps looked like they were staring at him through blank black eyes.  The heavy curtains grew arms that were ready to ensnare him and trap him.  The pictures took on ghostly and grotesque images of death and dismemberment.  The sounds that his love made from their bed were too loud and sharp in his ears.  

 

Distressed and not knowing what to do, Rhett fell into old habits. It had been two days since the thought had fired among the neurons in his brain. He had been too joyous, too protected, too solid with Link at his side. He hadn’t needed it. Now he did. His conscience was fighting back, railing against him for forgetting, for allowing himself to seek and gain pleasure.  His insides swirling, he dropped to his knees in front of the mini fridge and rooted around. Finding what he was looking for, he dug his hands in and came forth with handfuls of mini bottles filled with fiery liquid. 

 

Clutching them to his body, he let them clank onto the table as he slumped into a chair beside them.  Stony faced, Rhett glared at the wall that seemed to pulsate and grow. Twisting the top off one of the bottles, he downed the clear cool liquid, untasting.  It went straight down his throat and into his stomach, warming his insides and making the pulsating wall vibrate a little less.  Faces that were clouding his vision, slowly blinked away as he downed three bottles, one right after the other.  After the fourth bottle, his throat had opened and he was able to breathe again.  Even though, his body had quieted and his mind was eased, he continued to twist bottle tops off and swallow the contents inside out of fear that the floating angry apparitions would return.   

 

He didn’t hear the bed creak or notice the figure coming toward him, until a gentle hand made him jump. “Rhett, what are you doing?” Link said barely above a whisper, defeat and sorrow lacing the edges of his voice. 

 

“Gotta forget. Gotta make it go away. They won’t stay.” Rhett hiccupped, taking another shot of liquid.  

 

“Oh, Rhett. No.” Link sighed as he grabbed the trashcan, gathered the bottles on the table and tossed them inside. He then went to the fridge, taking every last item out and tossing them in with the others.   

 

In his drunken haze, Rhett was slow to react.  Mouth gaping open, he watched Link stalk into the bathroom and heard a loud crash of broken glass.  Stumbling to the doorway, he saw shards of glass in the tub, liquid swirling around the drain.  

 

“Rhett, I need you to hear my words and I want you to really try to understand what I am saying.”

 

Link reached out and grasped Rhett’s hand, running a finger down his palm. 

 

“I can’t do this, Rhett. I can’t go back.” Link sniffled, emotions threatening to tumble out and stop him from choking out his words.

 

“I love you. I want you, but not like this. Not broken and half the man I used to know.  We can’t go back to that day of the livestream.  You were crying out for help. I should have known that what you were doing to me wasn’t the half of it. I tried to take your pain onto myself, but it wasn’t working. You were giving me your anger, but I couldn’t fix the hole in your heart.” 

 

Link’s breath caught in his throat, sending a burning trail through his lungs. Forcing his voice through the fire, he wheezed out “I know I’m not enough for you. I never was. And I won’t ever replace what you lost. I can’t.” 

 

“No.” Rhett breathed. Both in response to Link not being enough for him, and in knowing what Link was going to say next.  “Don’t.” Link could feel Rhett begin to tremble. 

 

“As much as the lost years have broken me down into a shell of a man, I would gladly go back if we were going to end up in the same place as before. Seeing you torture yourself and kill yourself drinking, I could feel your pain everyday as if it were my own.  In killing yourself, you were killing me, too.” Link paused feeling icy fingernails scrape at him.   

 

“We can’t do this again, the first time almost destroyed us both.” 

 

Then Link said it. He said the words that sent Rhett’s body into convulsions.   

 

“We can’t be together. . . not like this.”  Link put Rhett’s knuckles to his face as the tears slid from Link’s eyes and made zig zags along Rhett’s hand and plopped on the carpet. Rhett slid softly to his knees on the carpet, staring ahead, staring through Link, fingers still pressed into Link’s palm.  

 

“I want all of you, not just the fragments that are left.  The pieces that you allow to feel happiness. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to me.  We can’t do this to each other.” Link rested his hand in Rhett’s hair, twisting his fingers.  

 

_ Something had to change _ . Rhett slumped his shoulders and pressed his head against Link’s middle, arms squeezing his legs. “Link, help me. Please, please, don’t go. I don’t know how to breathe without you.” He begged, speaking into Link’s stomach.

 

“I’m here. I know I left you alone in this and I’m sorry. I’m not leaving ever again. I need you to forgive yourself.  Allow yourself to be loved, Rhett.”  _ Please let me love you. _

 

Link slid down on the floor in front of Rhett, cupping his face and kissing underneath each eye. “You should have all the love in the world. I don’t know if my heart is enough to give you all you need and deserve. You need help, we need help. Please . . . We need to be more for each other.”  

  
Clutching, both men comforted the other as they wept softly in each other’s arms. Unknowing what the future would hold or if they could ever be together, truly healed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, dear reader for leaving a comment and for reading. 
> 
> :)


	12. Epilogue: Endings or Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An ending or a new beginning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote: Kissing the man’s palm softly, he realized that just by sitting next to him, that Link chased away the monsters that haunted his brain. His lithe body a barrier between Rhett’s demons and Rhett.

“I don’t know about that doctor, Link. I think she’s a wack job.” Rhett said as he took the last step toward the offices. 

 

“She got you talking didn’t she?” Link surmised opening the door and letting Rhett pass through first. 

 

“Yeah, begrudgingly. All we talked about was my divorce.” Rhett made a face. 

 

“Well. that’s half the battle with you, my friend. But once you get going, there’s no stopping you. Maybe I should write a letter of complaint.” Link teased as they made their way into Dr. Marsh’s offices. 

 

“Hmph.” Rhett had to admit that these past months were tortuous.  More painful than the previous four years. At least in those forgotten years, he was numb. Alone, frightened, empty, calling out for half of his soul, but numb.  These past months have been like ripping off a bandaid.  But a giant body sized band aid agonizingly slow, over bloody puss filled wounds. 

 

They went through several therapists and settled on Dr. Marsh.  She was able to break through the icy exterior of the blonde man by appealing to his love for Link. 

 

“If you won’t do this for you and the memory of your sons. Do this for Link.  He wants to be with you, but he wants you whole or as whole as you can be in these terrible circumstances.  Would you try for him? Try to be the man he needs?”

 

That was all it took.  Rhett’s broken heart bled out for his loss but beat for Link.  Link was the only person who saw him when he was invisible and dirty and drunk. The only person worth trudging through this treacherous life with.  

 

So Rhett decided that in order to be the man that Link deserves, he would do this. He would see this woman and he would talk. He would carve open his chest, rip out his barely beating heart and put it on display. Let her see all the gaping holes and wounds that he alone had caused.  She would help him, he hoped.  Either that or his heart would bleed out on the table, turn gray and cold, just another chunk of meat and he would perish under the weight of his regrets and sorrow.  But he wouldn’t do that to Link. He had put the man through too much. Too much violence and pain.  Forcing the smaller man to cut him out of his life, in order to find him again and save him.  He was determined to be a better man for the both of them.  

 

So when she said, “Tell me about that night.” Rhett looked to Link with wet eyes, clutching his hand, his whole body vibrating in fear. He had never voiced to anyone what happened that night. He couldn’t even voice what happened to himself.  It was feelings and images, words and sounds.  After taking calming breaths and the pressure of the other man’s fingers on his own, he finally admitted, “It was all my fault. I killed my sons.” 

 

As the tears rolled down his face, he looked from the therapist to Link’s soft face, gathering the strength that Link always gave him. He could do this. He could talk about them. Link was here to pick him up, keep him standing.  They would get through this together. 

 

Looking into Link’s eyes, he whispered, “It was a terrible car accident.  I can’t take back what I did or have done, since then.  I’m so sorry.”  Rhett’s voice caught as soft cries escaped his mouth, his apology a blanket on everything horrible he had done in his entire existence. Link squeezed his hand and caressed his face, catching his tears.  “There’s nothing to forgive. You didn’t cause the accident. There was nothing you could have done, Rhett. It’s ok to forgive yourself.” Link whispered, tracing the inside of Rhett’s palm with his fingertips. 

 

Rhett could feel love and absolution radiating off Link. It wasn’t ok. But he was on the path to being able to live a life knowing it would never be ok. That his life would always have sorrow and difficulty tinged to the edges. In spite of that, he slowly was finding out that he was allowed to keep breathing and smiling, while still crying for his sons.  And maybe one day, he would take a breath and exhale without his chest seizing and he could laugh and live his life without feeling the guilt crush him into oblivion. 

 

_ I can do this. I can do this _ . As he opened his mouth, the story of that night fell out.  Each time he felt the panic take hold of him, he would turn his eyes to Link. Absorb Link’s presence. Feel Link’s love and acceptance float around him and wrap his body in a safe cocoon. The panic would slow and the empty chasm in his chest wouldn’t feel so empty. Kissing the man’s palm softly, he realized that just by sitting next to him, that Link chased away the monsters that haunted his brain. His lithe body a barrier between Rhett’s demons and Rhett.  He was ever grateful to the heavens that Link had chosen to stay and Rhett knew that each day would be a little easier and a little brighter because Link willed it to be so.   Gripping Link’s hand in his own, Rhett spoke the words that were in his heart, “Thank you, Link. Thank you for loving me.”

 

He continued on with his story, feeling the darkness subside.  With Link, he could do anything, be anything. Link’s care and resolution had gotten Rhett through his darkest days and just knowing that Link still existed in his world, gave Rhett hope for himself and hope for the days that were coming.

  
End. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, dear reader! This is the longest story I think I have ever written in my life. It’s not perfect, but I am happy if some part of it resonated with you. 
> 
> As always, your comments and kudos give me life and set me to writing again!
> 
> :) Find me on Tumblr: Razle-Dazle


	13. Tying Up Loose Ends-Link

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A commenter made me realize that there were loose ends to my story. So here is a stand alone quickie to explain Link and Christy's show.

In regards to Christy and the show, I would like to think this:

Link gave up his stake in the show that he and Christy had built together. He gave it all to Christy in order to take a journey with Rhett in his recovery. She was really the heart and soul of the new show and Link's heart was elsewhere. It always had been. The fans wouldn't miss him. Christy wouldnt miss him.

Nothing was as bright or real, with Rhett absent from the picture and Link couldn't see the forest for the trees. He didn't want to. Rhett was his forest, his trees, his earth. That's all he saw. So when there was a break in the thick lush undergrowth and fauna, and two paths were revealled to him, Link didn't hesitate. Rhett was his choice, Rhett would always be his choice. 

So he walked this life with Rhett, helping the blonde man heal. Kissing all his hurts and bandaging his wounds. Watching him open up slowly to reveal the scar tissue of his heart. When Rhett cried out in the night, Link was there to comfort and protect him from the monsters of his psyche. When Rhett broke down and reached for liquid temptation, Link was there to keep him strong and on the path. Link saw no other choice, no other reason beyond the blonde man's eyes. He had comitted himself to this lovely giant years ago when life was simple and pure and Link didn't make false promises. The love he felt for Rhett welled up in his being, making him feel as if he could move mountains with the slightest flick of a finger, a power he only reserved for his love, Rhett.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally, I had planned some simple smut based on the song Closer, by Chainsmokers. The story took on a life of its own. It begged my mind to tell it. It gets worse before it gets better. Sorry, but not sorry. I hope you enjoyed.


End file.
